L-O-V-E

Wow! It's been so long since I last wrote on here. I actually logged on and had no idea how to use this thing. Needless to say it was quite the experience. I decided to start fresh on here, well except for one of my favorite posts...I couldn't let that one go.

   Anyways, I am going to be talking about a little thing called LOVE. Thats right I said it, love. I use this word a million times a day. My use of the word ranges from "I LOVE this song"to "I LOVE Chipotle". Sometimes I think I over use this word, and I know I am not the only one. Do we truly love these things? I don't know, but lets start off with the Webster's definition shall we?

Love: An intense feeling of deep affection. 

Okay, Yeah, I guess we could say thats what love is. I don't know though because  I feel like it leaves out a lot of the other details. I think love feels a little more like a sickness sometimes. Like sometimes when you love someone you can't eat, sleep, and sometimes it gives you the worse pain imaginable. When you get a description like that who wouldn't want to be in love right? The point I am trying to make here is that love is so much BIGGER than we think it is, it can't be put into a little box and anything outside of that box doesn't qualify. There are so many sides to love, so many particles, and pieces that add to the feeling.

Love is something that really can't be defined it is something that one has to define on their own. I have only been in love one and one time only of this I am sure. I know that it doesn't make me an expert on love or anything, but to me love is this cluster of things that add up to one feeling. Love to me is unselfish, patient, forgiving, and most importantly it never gives up.

  Being unselfish is something that is really hard for almost everyone to do. Lets face it we ALL want to have it our way. We all have things that we really want and there is nothing wrong with that, but there is a little problem with that when there is more than one person involved. So we have this thing called compromise, which some of us master and some of us not so much. When I was younger I honestly did not understand what compromise was. All I cared about was what Jamee wanted and that's how it was going to be. When love is involved you kind of stop caring about what YOU need, but what they need. You start to be okay with meeting in the middle and compromises. Yeah, maybe you didn't get to have it ALL your way, but making the other happy is good enough. I have to admit there was a LONG road to compromise with me, but, when love inched its way in it was more about them being happy, and getting what they needed and less about what I wanted or what I needed.

   Love is patient. You can be madly in love with someone, and they can drive you completely crazy. Sometimes it is the little things like not using correct grammar, or listening to the little details of a story. Sometimes it's the BIG things like putting up with a bad mood or a bad day. Whatever it is love is patient. Patience and I have a bit of a complicated relationship. I react very quickly and often times want things to happen right now, but unfortunately it doesn't always work like that. When you have dated the most stubborn, challenging person only then will you develop that beloved concept of patience. Sometimes it is not even a choice it just happens, and believe it or not it gets a little easier. You may be patient and slow to speak when they are having a bad day. You may show patience when they need time or space to think. Sometimes sitting back and showing a little patience can be the best act of love you can give someone.
 
  Love is forgiving. Has anyone ever seen that movie Just Friends and the crazy psycho chick sings a song in the movie that goes "forgiveness is more than sayin' sorry", while she was completely crazy, she was definitely on to something. Forgiveness is more than words, it more of a heart and mental thing. You can say you forgive someone, but you don't. It's hard to forgive, but love can make it a little easier. When you love someone you forgive them for all of their little flaws. When you say sorry you mean it. There is nothing worse than having an argument or discussion and having someone bring up some mistake or issue that you had previously. I must admit I am like an olympic gold medalist in this department. I mean I remember everything, and I love arguing and I love having the last word. As much as I hate to admit it  I certainly do bring up previous experiences to win an argument. Love needs to be forgiving it shouldn't take record of wrongs that were done in the past, it's about moving forward and forgiving one another. This is a concept that I have struggled and struggled to master, but there has definitely been success in the struggle. I have realized that no one is perfect and everyone should experience  forgiveness. Love to me is forgiveness.

Love NEVER gives up. This is my favorite. It's so easy to give up or want to get out when times get rough or something isn't going exactly according to how you imagined it. Maybe they weren't everything that you wanted them to be, maybe they made a mistake, or maybe we are scared. Love to me never gives up. I am just going to throw this out there. I am a fighter. I mean you can knock me down, but I am going to get back up and keep swinging. I hate giving up. I really hate giving up on people. And most importantly I hate giving up on people I am in love with. Sometimes I think of how much easier it would be to just cash in the chips and call it game, sure fighting can get exhausting, but when you love someone you will keep fighting. Yes, I realize there comes a time when you have to stop fighting for someone or move on, but if it is real to you, if you can't go a day without thinking about it then you should fight. Failure is not an option. You are going to have people around you telling you what you should do and how you feel. Everyone is going to have their opinions and they are going to disapprove. I have experienced it first hand. The little moments of silence when you talk to friends, the vocal disapproval, and the judgey eyes. Sometimes it is enough to start to make you doubt yourself, but you have to ask yourself the question is it worth it? If it is yes than keep fighting and don't walk away.

  I am sure you are asking yourself what prompted me to write this. Two things 1. insomnia 2. Simple, I am in love with someone. He isn't perfect, he is nothing I ideally wanted for myself, he can't be romantic if he tried, he drives me crazy with his use of incorrect grammar, he is moody, he doesn't look like Channing Tatum, he is constantly arguing, not all my friends like him and he really doesn't know the right things to say. I know your probably thinking and you are in love with this guy? Yes, while those are all of the things he is not, I can tell you what he is. He is my past. He is constantly challenging me. He argues constantly, but I wouldn't want to argue with anyone else. While he isn't perfect, he fits perfectly with me. He doesn't always say the right things, but he says what I need to hear not what I want to hear. While he isn't Channing Tatum, he certainly has the cutest smile I have ever seen. Not all my friends may like him, but they don't know him. While he isn't romantic, his attempts at being romantic can make me laugh, cry and snort all at once, which to me is the most romantic thing in the world. He isn't perfect, but I love him. He taught me what love was, most importantly he made me want to fight and not give up on something that's why I will NEVER give up on him. 

The Dawson-Joey Dilemma/Problem

What I am going to be talking about is post is the beloved, yet intensely hated Dawson- Joey situation. Those that have ever watched the teen drama Dawson's Creek you will know what I am talking about. Those of you that have not viewed the show I will explain it to you. You see there are these two characters named, you guessed it, Dawson Leery and Joey Potter. You see the these two characters have been best friends since childhood. I am talking about sharing everything with each other, talks about how their lives sucked, she even snuck into his window every friday and sleeps in his bed while they watch old Stephen Spielberg films. Well, as I am sure most of you guessed little miss Joey Potter fell for little ole' Dawson Leery, surprise, surprise. Well, what happened you ask? Well, after episodes and episodes, of agonizing over whether she should reveal her feelings to Dawson, and episodes and episodes of the viewer screaming at the television "just tell him! He loves you too!"she finally gets up the nerve to tell him. She finally tells him how she feels, and he says, "I love you too, I have always loved you, you are my best friend in the whole world of course it makes sense that I would love you because people that are not in love with each other don't have relationships like this". The fireworks go off and they live happily ever after. If that hint at sarcasm wasn't enough for you I will just point blank tell you no that is not what happened. What REALLY happened was little miss Joey Potter started to tell him that she had feelings for him, but she was interrupted by his talk of feelings for another girl named Jen Linley, the girl next store with the bad rep and that didn't listen to all of his ramblings, and wasn't his shoulder to cry on. What did Joey do you ask? She pretended like she was happy for him, immediately hid the feelings that she had been agonizing over for years, and pretended like it was no big deal. She was put back in the friend zone, but you better believe that jealously was ever present when Jen Lindley was in the picture. Oh and as for Dawson he was just as blind and oblivious as usual. As you watch the other seasons you see there is a back and forth of feelings from both characters, but they can never time it right, and both (wait for it) don't wanna ruin the friendship, but that's not the point of this post.

How many of you have been the Joey in this scenario? Come on be honest. My guess is most of us have. I will be the first to admit that I have totally been Joey Potter, in fact I basically AM Joey Potter as much as I hate it. I am practically mumbling out of the side of my mouth (if you don't know what I am talking about just youtube Joey Potter), quirky comments erupting from my mouth like lava from a volcano, and complaining about my teenage melodrama as we speak. I am here to talk about this problem that I call the Dawson- Joey problem/dilemma. The problem with this is that EVERYONE is always rooting for the best friends to get together. In the late 90's and early 2000's if you took a poll on who was rooting for Dawson and Joey to get together 95% of delirious teenagers, even adults would tell you that they would be team Joey and Dawson. Shoot this issue would blow the team Jacob and Bella, and team Edward and Bella fans out of the water. Forget making T-Shirts we will have a freaking Parade in honor of Joey and Dawson. There is just something about best friends that people love. The problem with this is it implants false hope in the Joey's of the world. Let's be honest most of the Joey's are the girls. We get all attached to the idea of our "Dawson's" being our soul mates because they get us, they share with us their life woes, they tell us things that make us feel special like this for example:

Dawson: "She's great. I mean, she's smart, she's beautiful, she's funny, she's a big ol' scaredy cat. If you creep up from behind her she'll jump out of her skin. It's pretty amusing. She's honest. She always calls them just like she sees them. You can always count on getting the truth from Joey even if the truth hurts. She's stubborn. We fight a lot. She can be so frustrating sometimes. But she's a really, really, good friend. I know her to a fault. She believes in me. And I'm a dreamer so it's so good to have somebody like that in my life. If she goes away, I don't know what I'm going to do. I mean, she's my best friend, you know? She's more than that. She's everything."

Wake up and smell the coffee man...you like the girl...right?

With a description like that we just know that they would never see any other girls they way they see us(insert eye roll here). Like the real Joey Potter we will agonize over our feelings for our "Dawson", and mill over whether or not we should tell him. Mean while our little beloved "Dawson" is just so oblivious to our ever growing feelings.

Finally the moment has come we are going to tell our best friend, or "Dawson's" how we feel our little hearts desires, how we have been planning our theoretical wedding for years (okay we might not get that detailed yet we don't wanna freak them out). For the major majority of us this is usually an epic fail of so many proportions. For you lucky ones way to beat the odds and land your man Dawson, now you can row off into the sunset on down the creek (HA HA:) ) For the majority like the real Joey we will get 1 of 2 responses.

Response 1: The "I thought we were just friends, I thought you understood that, and I don't want to ruin this perfect relationship that I have with you you are too special to me" Okay well played Dawson way to try and let us down easily, thus making it seem like our fault that we ever had feelings for you. We must have misread all of the sweet comments and compliments that you sent our way on a daily basis. The problem with this statement is the last little comment that was added in there for a little flavoring the "I have this perfect relationship with you, I don't wanna ruin it because YOU are too SPECIAL to me". Alright Dawson nicely done you have managed to let us down easy, but instilling in us false hope by telling us we are special. Obviously we are going to reason that you just aren't "emotionally ready". Congratulations Dawson you have done the impossible you have managed to shoot us down and make us hang on all in 1 sentence. You are def a freaking magician, giving Chris Angel a run for his money. Kudos my friend kudos...

Response 2: "I am sorry, but I am interested in someone else". Now our "Dawson's" took a tip from the REAL Dawson Leery. So it seems that there is another person in this picture a "Jen Lindley" if you will. So we pretend to be all supportive and not at all hurt by this revelation. We not so obviously walk away with our tail between our legs jealous of Jen Lindley wondering where the heck she came from, and wondering how he could fall for the Jen Lindley's of the world, when he had us the Joey Potter's who stuck beside him through thick and thin, even when he went through that awkward stage which you both swore to never talk about again, and who he shared his deepest darkest secrets with. We continue on in our friendship with our "Dawson's" pretending like nothing ever happened praying that he will break up with "Jen" and hoping he will be hit over the head with something really hard and realize that he really liked us the whole time. And when he does he will be ever so Dawson like run dramatically to our house with some cheesy Edwin Mccain or Nsync song playing in the background professing his undying love to us. Leaving the Jen Lindley's of the world in the dust pouting about their unfortunate luck.

If you are or have been the Joey in this situation I am sincerely sorry, I really am. I genuinely feel your pain. If you are the Dawson...you need to ask yourself some hard questions, and you need to get a clue because your instincts are severely lacking. To the world stop the madness stop instilling to us the idea that best friends make the perfect couple, help the Joey's of the world stop the Dawson- Joey Dilemma/Problem. To the Joey's stay strong, keep pushing on. Maybe he will realize that you are it, but make him work for it. If he doesn't maybe a Pacey will come along and surprise you, but that's a whole other story. :)

♥

Jamee